Blaming the victim is rude.

Kathy Griffin Needs to Learn How to Apologize

Comedian Kathy Griffin “stepped in it” big time and she would like the public to accept her apology.

Why does the self-proclaimed “D List” celebrity need to learn how to apologize?

Kathy Griffin released gruesome photos, she had taken of herself, holding the severed, blood dripping, (fake) head of President Trump. She realized a little too late that the vile photos were offensive.

“I sincerely apologize. I am just now seeing the reaction of these images. … I went way too far. The image is too disturbing. I understand how it offends people. It wasn’t funny. I get it.”

Griffin wants the public to accept her apology however the public isn’t buying it because she clearly never learned how to apologize genuinely. In fact, CNN has fired her from the annual New Year’s Eve special that she hosts with Anderson Cooper,  a retail company has fired her as a spokesperson, and venues have cancelled dates in which she was scheduled to appear.

A couple of days after her initial apology Griffin held a news conference in which she dug herself into a deeper hole. She actually blamed the victim for her stupid mistake-as if President Trump had something to do with her “joke” that tanked and made people angry regardless of their political leanings. Kathy really ought to fire her PR person for giving her the worst advice in how to clean up a big public relations disaster.

Learn How to Apologize Kathy and People Might Believe You

Griffin’s apology is inauthentic because it doesn’t address her actual mistake. It seems that the only reason she is apologizing is because people were offended not because she realized she actually did something wrong.

“I am just now seeing the reaction of these images.”

Her apology is dismissive and curt.

“It wasn’t funny (to you). I get it.”

She never acknowledges the feelings of the people she injured especially the target and his family, and she never says what is actually wrong with the image.

“The image is too disturbing.” (to you)

Worst of all, she blamed the victim!

“He broke me!” (He broke you? No, your ill-conceived, hateful photos didn’t receive the reaction you wanted and that “broke” you…if you are actually broken at all.)

What Kathy Griffin’s apology should have sounded like:

I would like to offer my sincerest apology for creating and releasing a series of highly inappropriate photos. I disrespected the office of the President of the United States, the President and his family, and the American people.

My judgment was very poor, uncivilized, and crass and I am very sorry and embarrassed by my bad behavior. I regret taking and distributing the distasteful pictures and would like to extend a heartfelt apology to the President and his family who were sickened and frightened by my heartless act. I feel terrible that the gross images are circulating on the internet and there is no way for me to take them back.

I deeply regret my mistake and I will never behave in such an inappropriate and anti-social way ever again. I am thankful that as an American citizen I have the right to engage in civil discourse however my act of discourse was uncivilized and wrong.

Again, I am so sorry for having taken the horrible photos and I hope that President Trump, his family, and the American people can find it in their hearts to accept my deepest apology.  

In addition to not having very good judgment or social skills, she doesn’t seem to have very high social intelligence or a good moral compass. Kathy Griffin’s apology leaves us with a sense that she could make the mistake all over again. It leaves us wondering if she even understands where she went wrong beyond delivering a joke that fell flat.

Learn How to Apologize

Learning how to apologize is an important social skill that all children must learn to build and maintain strong interpersonal relationships. We make mistakes, hopefully never as crass as Kathy Griffins’, and to protect our relationships it is necessary to take ownership and give a heartfelt apology.

A genuine apology show the injured party that:

  • we understand how we have hurt the injured party,
  • we are deeply sorry
  • we understand exactly what we have done wrong,
  • we intend to clean up the mess,
  • we have learned from the mistake and will never do it again.

Inauthentic apologies like that of Kathy Griffin are self-serving and selfish. They are offensive to the hurt party and can do additional damage to a relationship. Inauthentic apologies are stingy because the person is only out to make herself look good and not right her wrong.

It is too bad that she never learned how to apologize because her career may never come back from her blunder and attempt to blame the victim.

If you want to teach children how to deliver authentic apologies and other important social skills become a certified social skills trainer. Our online programs make it easy to learn all of the social skills and modern etiquette topics you need to help children and teens lead productive and successful lives. If you don’t want children to behave like Kathy Griffin, visit socialskillscompany.com and choose from one of our train-the-trainer social skills programs today. A full curriculum is included in every program and expert marketing materials too so you can start a social skills business.